And I'm not just claiming this as an "emotional woman".
I would show you my father, who's been a farmer from the day he was born 58 years ago, as he fights back tears and anger after having to put a respected Lady down, a Lady we just spent countless hours/days/weeks over trying to make better, exhausting every resource possible before having to give her a peaceful end. I would show him tired, sweaty, with a bandaged finger that's missing a finger nail and hurts like hell headed back out to the fields in the summer heat and sunshine to make hay to feed the calves through the winter, after just literally working 16 hours straight for the last 10 days in a row. Those same hours that ravage his body year after year.
I would show you my husband, the newbie to this life, who's embraced it to it's fullest, tired and cold, with aching legs from a disability, not stopping for a break as he doctors a calf again, only to loose her that night, I would show you his frustration and disappointment in not being able to save her. I would let you hear the true cuss words that portray that emotion when he finds her gone that morning .I would let you see his panic and frustration as we try to breath life back into a calf that we thought for a brief second had a heartbeat. I'd show you his hands, with countless cuts, his back with aching sore muscles and his tired body as he gets out of bed again at 4:30 am for morning chores.
I would show you my mother, who chose this life to be with her high school sweetheart, in the milking parlor on the hottest day in the summer, the coldest day in the winter, milking diligently and carefully every Lady. I would show you her disappointment when a Lady hurts a teat, as she tries every trick in the book to get her milked out and keep her from getting sick. As she juggles keeping up with paperwork, worry over bills and literally not enough hours in the day to get it all done, getting it all done.
And I would show you me, the one who grew up in this life, knows it's every in and outs and still chose to stay, with tears rolling down my face as Mercedes the cow pictured above gets her lasts scratches from me before she leaves our farm for the auction. I would let you see my memories of Mercedes being born, of growing up friendly and sweet, having her babies and joining the milking the herd. I would show you her unique personality that set her apart. I would let you see the connection I had with her, the care and true love I have for all our Ladies.
I would show you the tears on my keyboard as I write this............Yes, today I cried over a cow, because dairy farming is much more then a job to me.........it's my life.
As I sit here writing my blog for the day... already holding back the tears from the stress of the day... this pushed me over the edge. I am so sorry & know that I know what you are feeling! <3
ReplyDeleteJust saw your post from last night too Krista, good job on having the courage to hit publish! <3
DeleteI grew up around beef cows and one milk cow for 2 families who lived on the farm. My cousins and I (there were 4 kids from each family, all around the same ages), cried when our dear Daisy died. Right in front of the barn door. The vet helped her fall asleep and we all gathered around her to say our goodbyes. We had her a long time.
DeleteI'd love the life and have been blessed to experience it with a friends farm. I was there when twins were born early and didn't make it. I've seen a cow with a C-section because the bull calf was too big. There was a cow who would come back into the parlor after her turn was done just to hang out with me until milking was done and get some scratches in. Each has their own personality and attachments are made. Its hard work but immensely satisfying at the end of the day.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you got those real experiences on your friends farm, both good and bad, you've had a good luck at our days!
DeleteThanks so much for reading and leaving a comment!
It's hard to be around beautiful bovines without falling totally head over heals in love with them. Your right, favorites just seem to happen. I'm sorry to read this. I too am sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks as I read this and now type the comments as it brings back memories of a girl I lost this summer too. My Belle girl was a complete and total inspiration for me. I loved her with my whole heart. I still tear up thinking about her.
ReplyDeleteIn her memory, I had one of my favorite photos of her blown up into a 16 x 20 print that is now framed and hanging on the "wall of honor". I get to see her everyday in her fields of green with nothing but blue sky on the horizon.
Sometimes, we just have that one girl who confirms that this IS the life we want, even through all the rough times of loss. Each stage of their life bringing us the happiness we need within our souls as farm women...from the antics of a calf, the pride of sharing motherhood, watching each one grow into a distinguished lady.
I hope you find peace in knowing that you provided such a good life full of love for her. God Bless.
Thank you so much for your comment! It really is those affirmations that are needed to show you, you were made for this life and still love it besides the bad days! I love your wall of honor idea, whenever our new office finally gets finished I think I will have to do that!
DeleteOh sweetie, I'm on the verge of tears for you! I know it's really hard, and sometimes you just have to cry it out. We don't have dairy cows but I've shed my fair share of tears over beef cows and mama hogs. I cried for two days straight when I shipped my last group of mama pigs off after two weeks of exhausting farrowing and one c-section that ended badly. Maybe someday you'll find a new favorite and until then we're here for you :)
ReplyDeleteSee this what frustrates me so much, Farmers DO Care, all of us, in every industry! I so wish consumers understood that more! Thanks so much for following along Jamie and the kind words!!
DeleteSo sorry to read this....
ReplyDeleteThank you! And thank you for reading and stopping by!
DeleteI married a farmer. Coming from a non-farm background, I had absolutely no idea how connected the farmer is to his cows. Now I take care of the calves and we are raising a little future farmer. She cried last night when a calf, that we had to tube feed colostrum, cried unhappily. Although it wasn't a pleasant situation, it made me tear up to see my 19-month-old aleeady so connected to her girls.
ReplyDeleteOh I so know that feeling Joanna, we've had a couple situations with my son that made me totally feel for his emotions. And at the same time so proud of his concern for their wellfare! That's when you know you are doing a good job as a Farm Mom!! <3
DeleteI'm a sixteen year old farmer's daughter from a little place called Rushville, Pennsylvania. I know exactly what you mean. I have put my own blood, sweat and tears into our dairy farm, along with my parents, grandparents, and my four siblings. I wish that people could see what this way of life really means. Honestly, even though it's a lot of hard work and is never easy, I wouldn't trade a single day of it.
ReplyDeleteExactly Kayla, I think it's every farm out there and the average person just has no idea! So glad that your enjoy your place as a farmer's daughter! :-)
DeleteI am with you tonight. My Smidge cow who i love so much leaves in the morning. I'm headed to the barn shortly to spend some time with her.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. But know you're not alone.
Umm holy crap......feeling a little star struck, Hi Dairy Carrie! ;-)
DeleteI'm not alone and your not either, so sorry about Smidge! This is what I want consumers to feel, to see, these moments! And to understand the honest true love we have for all our Mercedes' and Smidge's out there. I think we all need to start videoing/documenting the true raw side of farmers caring...take that "animal rights" videos!
I, too, wish the consumer could see the care my husband takes with each cow. He can simply look at one of our 190 milk cows out in the pasture, and tell me what number she is, who her mother was, and often, her grandmother! He works tirelessly to bring the sick cows back to health, often hauling water to them over and over and over during hot summer days. He can tell you who is boss cow (as can ANY dairy farmer I would guess!), and also who are among the bottom cows on the totem pole. He can tell you which cows like to be scratched, and which ones like to milk on the right (or left) side of the parlor. And I can tell you how hard it is for him to then make a cull cow list, in order to stay financially afloat, so we can continue this life that we love. (yes, knowing that those cows will most likely be brought to slaughter). And when we have a cow with an excrutiating injury, like a broken leg, we wipe away our tears, and give thanks for a freezer full of meat to feed our family.
DeleteI know how you feel. Thank you for putting it so wonderfully. I have been a farm kid and farm wife all my life as well and have cried over losing many animals. On Monday night two of my daughter's new chickens that she bought to show in 4-H next year were killed in a freak series of events. I cried both for the birds and for her knowing her hurt as well. It is a tough life being a farm family. But, I would not want to raise my kids any other way and thank God everyday for the opportunities He gives us to love, learn, and make a living from all of these beautiful creatures.
ReplyDeleteOh Melissa, so sorry for your and your daughters! That is such a hard lesson and yet so valuable! I can't imagine raising my kids any other way either, it is truly the most amazing blessing through all it's hardships! I am so glad you commented!
DeleteHi Darleen. Very sad to read this today. Nothing easy about saying goodbye to what has become a member of the family. Will be thinking about you and Carrie as you say Goodbye to some very special ladies.
ReplyDeleteLaurie
Thank You Laurie, they really do become a part of the family!
DeleteI am not a farmers wife or a farmers daughter but i am a country girl, I worked on a farm growing up and again for 10 yrs as a adult, I remember the 1st calf born on the farm when i started there i helped it be born,fed it its first bottle and named her Misty, she grew into a beauty, had a bunch of babies and eventually reached Excellent, She was to grow old and die on the farm i was promised she would never be sold, well she loved me as much as i loved her for 10 yrs, she would come when called and bring the other cows in at milking time, I nursed her back from milk fever several times, some of her calves grew up on the farm the bull calves went to market, but none were near and dear to my heart as her. I remember the day she delivered a 22 lb bull calf and went down with a pinched nerve, no matter how much I (not the farm) spent on vet calls we could not get her to her feet. I slept in the barn with her the night she died. I left the farm at the end of that summer it was never the same for me, so I understand why you cried over a cow my friend
ReplyDeleteThis was definitely written for all the Misty's and Mercedes', and every other farm animal that has found it's way into our hearts! There definitely are the special ones, I am glad you have those memories!
DeleteI will never forget my brothers, uncle and father running into our burning barn over and over, trying to get the cows out, with no regard for their own lives. They were only able to save one calf, who when brought out and laid on the ground, my father thought was dead. She was a miracle born from tragedy, and her name is Lucky.
ReplyDeleteOh Julia I can't even imagine the emotions associated with a barn fire and losing everything! Thoughts go out to your whole family no matter how long ago that was. And thank goodness for small miracles like Lucky! I hope she can be a light of hope!
DeleteWhen we read your blog this morning after doing the morning jobs for our cows, we were crying too. We lost a cow yesterday too after doing all we could to try and save her. As you say the non farming folk don't see the blood, sweat, tears and compassion that go into looking after a herd of cows who are your livelihood as well as your livestock. They are each unique personalities with their own characters which is what drives us to do what we do!
ReplyDeleteAlan , Kate Palace Holsteins
That exactly what it is Alan! Every time an "abuse" video is released I wish we had videos of those moments to share. To let consumers see the compassion, so they could understand they are so much more to us then just livestock! Thank you so much for reading and commenting and so sorry for your loss as well. They are all felt!
DeleteHi there... I just came across this blog post. I have been struggling lately with a lot of things. Being so far removed from the dairy industry makes it difficult to understand much of what happens. I am a vegetarian and have recently been contemplating going vegan because I can't reconcile what happens on a farm with my values. There's too much I don't know. Given your post and your obvious compassion for animals I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me understand? Please know I don't mean anything disingenuous, I just want to understand the truth. One of the first questions I have is what happens to a dairy cows calf? Why does Mercedes have to go to auction? What will likely happen to her once she's sold? Anything that you can tell me that would help me understand the day in the life of a dairy cow would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad your here and asking questions, and seeking the information that you want. We are truly blessed to live where we can seek out the truth. I would love to go over all of these topics with you...do you have an e-mail where I could reach you? These are all questions to hope to someday get a post written on, but for now I would love to answer them for you!
DeleteDarleen:
ReplyDeleteI feel your loss, and appreciate that you have such a talent to share your life (good, bad, and sad) with the world. Being a fourth generation farmer doesn't make it any easier for me when these things happen. Breeding the cow, delivering the calf, bottle feeding that baby, showing that heifer, delivering her calf....the cycle continues. What doesn't show in that narrative is the emotional investment of ourselves in every animal. Bringing a critical newborn into the house to help bring down a temperature while you run an IV, and then having to explain to your 6 year old daughter that you lost her first cow's calf even with everything you did......That is the flip side of "yeah, it's a heifer and what can we name her?"
We must be a special breed to shoulder this load and go right back out to the barn through blizzard, hurricane, heat and illness. With your special gift we are sharing this world and this commitment to agriculture and feeding the world one blog at a time. Thank you!
Freda Thank You for reading and commenting. I am loving the feedback that just goes to prove that all farmers care! It truly is being in on every step of that life cycle that brings them into our hearts and family. I couldn't agree more that we are a special breed and so I am glad you have are a part of it as well! Thanks again!
DeleteWow....
ReplyDeleteI grew up a city girl - married my farmer 14 years ago. I cried when the very first cow I milked died, I cried when Honey was shipped, and Blackie and Snow White and Ding-a-ling and her daughter Belle. I suppose if we just didn't name them they would just be a number and we wouldn't get attached. Don't misunderstand; I'm not the blubbering wife - but there are always 1 or 2 in the barn that have a certain personality that gets to you. The ones that you know won't kick you....the one who licks the top of your head when you bend over to milk her....the ones that follow you in the pasture as you walk down the driveway....sigh. Glad I found your blog....I'll keep reading if you keep writing!
I too mourn for your loss...and hold back the tears! I applaud you and your family farm. Warm hugs and blessings!
ReplyDeleteI have cried over many many sweet loved animals...even a cow! I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteThis post would be a perfect addition to the new Our Simple Homestead Hop if you would like to share it with us!
http://oursimplelife-sc.com/our-simple-homestead-hop-1/
so, i'm new to having a farm, but grew up in a barn ;) riding horses. we now are raising chickens... and as we are now have breeding pairs of chickens, i'm going to have to deal with the fact- as some point- that we will have to cull or sell them to someone who will. i can't even bear the thought... they are all so loved. i completely understand the attachment- and the loss. the worry over one who is sick or injured, or the excitement of one who has just entered this world. i wish your days full of sunshine knowing you provide so much for those you care for!
ReplyDelete